ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
