I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
