i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
