if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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