we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
