girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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