what if every blade of grass was a penis?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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