Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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