You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
