I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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