omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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