so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
