Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
