there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
