Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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