Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
