pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
