I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
There r osticjed everywhere
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
