HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
