And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
