Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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