did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
