Porn is love you can see.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
