pop tarts are not kleenex
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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