We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
