Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
