hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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