why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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