okay pat passed out under dana's car
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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