so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
3 2 1 whiskey
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
