Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
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