pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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