Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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