sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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