Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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