Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
that's an acceptable place to lick
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
