OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
