im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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