do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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