forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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