u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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