Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
