omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
