I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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