uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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