Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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