I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It's shark week go big or go home
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
