The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
