Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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