Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
