The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
